40th Birthday Gift Wrapping Paper
Your ride-or-die is about to hit the big 4-0, and you need wrapping paper that screams "I love you, but I'm also here to watch you crumble into dust."
Well, slap my coffin and call me deceased, because we've got just the thing to turn that midlife crisis into a full-blown existential meltdown! Introducing our "Youth Dies Here" 50th birthday wrapping paper - it's not just gift wrap, it's a technicolor time machine straight to the graveyard of lost dreams!
It's the perfect blend of "I'm acknowledging your existential crisis" and "I'm totally here for it," all rolled into one convenient package. Available in two sizes: "I still think you're hip" 30" x 20" or the "embrace the chaos" 30" x 72".
The smaller size is perfect for wrapping up those little reminders of their impending doom - extra-strength anti-aging creams, premium hair dye, or a book on mindfulness to help them cope with the fact that they now make sound effects for every movement.
The larger size? Well, that's for when you need to wrap up bigger gifts, like a vintage motorcycle or the crushed dreams of their youth.
Choose between a matte finish for the subtle sinners or a gloss finish for those who like their midlife crisis with a side of sparkle. Either way, this wrapping paper is easier to wipe clean than your friend's dating history. Just use a smooth cloth, and voila! Good as new - unlike your friend's joints.
